As any parent knows, having a child under the age of two can be exhausting, and having 2 under 2 can be very hard work indeed. You guys really came through for Gemma and the advice you gave her was excellent. She has had time to implement some of the suggestions you gave her and, as promised, here is her update:
Having 2 under 2 means when you have two kids under the age of two, you still have a BABY when his sibling is born.First of all I would just like to say a big thank you to everyone who had advice for me on how I can become less stressed at the state of the house and just enjoy the babies, it was very much appreciated and it’s nice to know I’m not alone and others have been through the same experience, one of the main things I have taken from out of this is hearing that it does get easier!
Having 2 Under 2
A piece of advice offered to me was to get into a good routine, this is a hard one as my other half, and I when I go back to work, work shifts, our days/hours of work change each week, this also means that when the boys will stay with my mum will change each week too. I have tried to incorporate some sort of routine into our days, especially when it comes to meal times and bath time, this links into another piece of advice, timing nap times together.
This has been quite successful for me and a massive help! Even if I only get the boys asleep at the same time once each day it gives me just a little bit of downtime, either to catch up with a few small jobs I have fallen behind on or just to take some time out for myself, even if I do nothing at all.
When my partner is in I have enlisted him into helping with bath and bedtime, and when he’s not in my sister often comes to help after she finishes school, she will watch the boys so I can make tea, run baths and prepare the boys’ fresh clothes ready for bed. Having extra help at the busy times during the day just gives me a little boost in my confidence and I am now happy to take on bathing two boys solo knowing that the help is there if I need it.
When it comes to ignoring the housework, this is definitely the biggest challenge, I find it hard to relax in a room where things, especially small toys, are strewn across the floor and the place is just messy in general.
But taking the advice of the “out of sight, out of mind method” did help, I have moved all they toys, and there is a lot of them, up to the far end of the lounge, behind the sofa, they are still easily accessible for Connor but out of my way, now I tend to just give the place a quick general tidy when he has fallen asleep, that way I am not constantly picking things up throughout the day, giving me more time to play with him.
Being a younger mum does mean that not many of my friends have children so talking to other mums is a hard one for me, however I have enrolled Connor into a weekly parent and toddler group and have started meeting other mums of children the same age and finding we do have things in common, it’s also nice to socialise a bit more and just get out of the house.
The last piece of advice I have taken on board, probably more than any other is, to look to the future! Hopefully as the boys grow up so close in age they will have a really close bond, and seeing them so happy together will be worth all the stress now. Although it is tough now the fact that a lot of milestones will be reached around the same time with both of them will make things easier in the long run giving me more time to enjoy them growing up.
Sibling rivalry is considerably reduced when there is a three-year or longer difference between siblings. By this time, the older child has gained confidence in his or herself and is quite self-sufficient. Furthermore, the mother’s body has fully healed from the strains of pregnancy and childbirth.
I have taken as much advice as I can and have made a real effort to incorporate it into our lives, and although it has only been two weeks I really feel it has helped me have time to relax a lot more and let go of the things that don’t really matter and just live each day as it comes and enjoy being a mummy to my two, very special little boys, under two!
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it mean by having 2 under 2?
When you have two kids under the age of two, you still have a BABY when his sibling is born.
Is it hard having 2 under 2?
Having a child under the age of two can be exhausting, and having two under Two can be very hard work indeed.
What is the ideal age gap between siblings?
Sibling rivalry is considerably reduced when there is a three-year or longer difference between siblings.